by Expert Amy Levine, M.A.
www.sexedsolutions.com


As a sex coach , I learn a lot about the status of women’s (and men’s) sex lives.  Often times during sessions, concerns arise that provide an opportunity to troubleshoot solutions for better sex.  Here are common scenarios women experience, and the pleasure prescription to boost sexual satisfaction to a whole new level.

Concern: During sex you feel a sharp pain with each thrust.

Pleasure Rx: If the sensation is happening during deep penetration, it’s likely your guy is hitting your cervix.  Since your vaginal canal lengthens and expands as you become more aroused, you’re best bet is to extend foreplay before he slips inside.  During intercourse, shift your body to see if repositioning yourself makes a difference.  Or, experiment with various poses—like woman-on-top or reverse cowgirl—that allow you to control the depth of his penis during the in-and-out.  Not only will it be fun to experiment with sexy moves, ultimately you’ll alleviate any discomfort.  However, if you still experience pain, visit your OB/GYN to reveal the real culprit.

Concern: My vaginal wetness comes and goes during a sack session.

Pleasure Rx: It’s completely natural for the amount of vaginal lubrication to vary for every woman, as well as each time you’re physically intimate with your partner.  Believe it or not, the amount of wetness isn’t an indication of your level of arousal.  Medications (like antihistamines and birth control pills), hormonal changes, and even using condoms can affect your natural juices.  Fortunately, there are plenty of products (like KY liquid) on the market to get that wet feeling in an instant.  As the saying goes, “wetter is better”—as it makes for more pleasurable penetration.  If you’re using condoms, latex is the best bet to reduce the risk of STDs.  Remember, latex can only be used with water or silicone-based lube, as oil-based products cause these condoms to deteriorate.

Concern: Condoms make my vagina burn.

Pleasure Rx: Chances are you’re allergic to latex, or Nonoxynol-9 (N-9) a spermicide added to various contraceptive products (like condoms, contraceptive film and foam).  To suss out the culprit, think about other products you’re allergic to.  For example, when you go to the OB/GYN or dentist, do you have an allergic reaction to the latex gloves?  If so, you’ve identified at least one source. If you’re using latex condoms to reduce the risk of STDs and pregnancy, foregoing condoms isn’t a smart option.  Instead, switch to polyurethane, which offers similar protection.

If you think you may be allergic to N-9, choose condoms that are lubricated, but not spermicidally lubricated.  And, read the packaging of your other contraceptive products to avoid N-9.  However, if you’re still concerned about pregnancy (in addition to using condoms if you’re not certain of your partners STD status), talk with your doc about taking birth control pills too.

Concern:  My orgasms aren’t as intense as sex scenes in movies.

Pleasure Rx: The movies sensationalize many aspects of life including sex.  Sure, some women have powerful orgasms, but realize this isn’t the norm, especially all the time. The Big O is different for every woman and for each encounter.  It also ranges on a continuum from something quick and simple to mind-blowing and multiple.  The trick is to be in the moment and enjoy your own journey of pleasure without comparing it to others.  Of course, experimenting with clitoral and G-spot stimulation can definitely maximize your orgasmic potential.

 
Concern: My guy's penis isn't the best fit—either too big or small.

Pleasure Rx: Rarely does a woman meet a guy that is everything she ever dreamed.  Sometimes he may have a perfect-penis and not much else to offer.  Other times he's a near-perfect match, his package being the exception.  More often than not, she opts for the guy that meets her list of priorities.  And, if he falls short or has too much offer below the belt, she may choose to stay with him or say adios.

The truth of the matter is that most women need clitoral stimulation to climax--whether by manual touch, oral sex, or the use of a sex toy.  Also, while the vagina lengthens and expands, often the most sensitive area (besides the G-spot) is near the vaginal opening.  In an effort to maximize or minimize his size, experiment with different positions--woman-on-top is usually a winner in both scenarios.  And, if you're with a guy that's smaller or well-endowed, they likely have mastered other in-the-sack skills.  If not, let him know other ways to give you the sexual pleasure you desire—it's never too late for him to learn.
© 2009 Amy Levine, www.sexedsolutions.com