I've been struggling/avoiding losing 15 pounds since August. I've been trying to figure out WHY? I posted a few weeks ago how people tell me I look great and I was too skinny when I was the 15 pounds lighter. I tried to use their lack of support as my reason for not losing the weight.


Well, the past few days (thanks to the Honeyline, the Challenge, my Honeyline here at home and of course, myself!) I've been feeling more motivated, focused and alive. Last night while combing my hair after my shower, I noticed my bicep (I have thick, coarse, curly hair...so, combing is a tough job!!) and felt proud; like WOW, I'm actually seeing a change from my efforts.


I asked myself "Why? Why now? What's been the difference?" and it hit me..........I was finally so aware of what I was allowing to (subconsciously) hold me back from getting back to my goal weight.


THE DETAILS (I'm writing them out because it's part of my healing):

I got to my goal weight (lowest weight, smallest size, most fit, etc.... in my adult life) of 176 (I'm 6'3", so that's a good weight for me) in June 2007. I got pregnant in Aug and had a miscarriage in Sept. I binged, trying desperately to numb the pain and gained 15 pounds in under 2 weeks. So there I was at 191 and depressed. My only goal was to get and stay pregnant. 3 months (and 3 pounds lighter) later I got pregnant. I was 188 pounds. I gained 50 pounds during the pregnancy.


I got back down to 188 pounds in Sept. (just a week after my daughter turned 1) and have been floundering between 188-193. Everytime I get close to breaking past the 188, I freak out and self-sabatoge.


Well FINALLY!!.........I get why. I was scared of the 170's because I was relating that weight to a vulnerable time in my life. I was relating the heavier weight with the happiness of pregnancy and a new baby. I've been letting those 15 pounds has been sticking around to "protect" me and maybe even help me hold on to the memory of the baby I never had. Well, now I KNOW that I can be strong (physically, mentally and emotionally) at any weight and I CAN let myself be happy and enjoy life!


I'm very close to breaking through the 188 barrier and I KNOW that I WILL do it and will continue working hard and enjoying life!


Calories in VS. Calories out. I know that, of course! I finally know why my ratio was SOOO out of balance. I'm excited to be excited!! I'm doing a 10K in May and will be doing some of the training with my 2 precious daughters (ages 4 and 1). I'm giving myself permission to grieve what could have been and know that I can move on to enjoy what is and what is to come.

Hey Ladies:
Check this out,I was a runner, not a jogger, but a runner. Nine miles a couple times a day.
Well, the years and three kids rolled around, and not running. WELL, YOU CAN GUESS. SO, I was guided by some higher ups. And they sugessted I put on my head phones, grab my cd player and go 'RUN DANCING'. I used the cd player ,rather than a ipod.[ i love disco, new wave, jazz, it all works, classical.Dance to the rythum of the drums]. The jolting from the run made the cd skip, so I knew when I was hurting my body. You kind of point your toes ,and tighten your body.
After three days, and daily, three times ,around the track. The form my musles were taking, and the power of my endurance, quadrupiled, because, I WAS HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!! . I have to warn you, if you play music you really like, you can OVER DO IT, REAL EASY.[do not use KAVA] Because your groovin' to the music, rockin' out. And BAM! 3 -4 -hours have passed, and your behind is disapearing. FOR FREE!!!!so ,be strong, be happy, and love one another, PEACE

hi, I play and work out alot, i love it, my problem is, I cant seem to put on weight, or musle mass. I try to eat alot, what would you sugest

Haven't posted for a bit but wanted to let you all what is going on.

Two weeks ago today my adorable 16 yr old nephew committed suicide...So tragic he was such a tender soul with a heart of gold, a 4.0 average student, played several instruments and a wonderful caring brother. He also loved animals and planned to pursue a career in veterinary medicine.

His parents noticed he had seemed a bit depressed and took him to a doctor who said it seemed very mild...Three days later he hung himself.

The saddest part of all of this is that his parents found him before he died and he was rushed to the hospital and was in a coma...Three days later he was pronounced brain dead...They decided to keep him on life support and donate his organs...The pain is so hurtful becauce then two days after that on my birthday he was gone.

It is a subject that is very hard to talk about but yet a very important one at the same time.
More and more children are taking their own lives...We all need to be aware and try to observe more of what is going on in their personal lives.

Please parents hug your children and then hug them again and let them know how much you love them!!!

Our family is suffering so bad over this sad and tragic time and yet it has also reconnected us in a whole new meaning.

I hope I haven't offended anyone by posting this but I strongly believe it is an important message that can happen to any family without even expecting it.

I hope all of you and your families have a blessed weekend!!!

Take Care All...Love you All

When the Saints go marching in...Go New Orleans Saints!!!
I hope the 'underdog's win today!!!

Alright, just read Gabby's latest Blog and I'm ready to make some changes. This is good timing for me; I need a challenge, a goal and I need it now. Because tomorrow is always tomorrow for me, so I am starting TODAY!!


EXTREME changes for 14 days to get myself back on track!


1. No creamer in my coffee.

2. No ice cream

3. Veggies with EVERY meal.

4. Get outdoor exercise (no matter what the weather!)

5. Limit computer time to ONE HOUR

It has been so rainy in SoCal today!! Wow!! Actual weather!! :)

Driving in the rain was truly a scary venture. I hydo'd at least 3 times on the freeway.

I recall reading in Laird's book that it's a good think to get scared every now and then...yep I got scared all right! And in a way, after I got home, I felt proud I survived the OC freeways without getting in a wreck (I'm sure this is NOT exactly what Laird meant! LOL!).

Well, I'm off to the gym in a bit. I ate A TON this weekend! I think running long distances really makes your body h-u-n-g-r-y!

Looking for ways to help Haiti? Here are a few:

Shop and donate at www.philanthrofashion.com. 100% of Profits from sales today, January 15th, will be donated to Hope for Haiti. Order and get while you give!

Easy to donate: Text “HAITI” to “90999” and a donation of $10 will go directly to the American Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti.

Ben Stiller has been accepting donations to build a school in Haiti. He is temporarily putting donations toward relief in Haiti. http://stillerstrong.org/

Wyclef Jean has set up the Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund. Text "Yele" to 501501 to donate $5 to the Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund (it will be charged to your cell phone bill) or you can visit www.yele.org to donate.

-so sad what happened....my prayers go out to those who have passed away in this....it's times like this that remind us everyday how short life could be, and that we should cherish every moment of it..

I got this in an email forward (which I get a lot of) and actually liked it. There are some great ones in here that I know I will be working on.


HANDBOOK 2010


Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Make time to pray.

6. Play more games

7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.





Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree....


Society:

25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything..

28.. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.


Life:

32. Do the right thing!

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. GOD heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change...

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come..

38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Created two unique volleyball awards to honor Michigan players. The Volleyball "Role Model" Award is in its 7th year and donated to Battle Creek St. Philip Catholic Central High School. They just won their 15th Michigan Class D State title and 4th in a row. This one is world known.
The second award is the Michigan Volleyball Senior "Leadership" Scholarship, in its 4th year, awarded to a player from the state who maintains a 3.5 GPA and is a leader on the court. $200 towards college is my gift.
I create awards with powerful words such as "Role Model" and
"Leadership". We need our students to step up and be recognized and lead in the future.

Buon Natale To everyone!

Have stayed at Redisdence inn a few years ago it was clean, smaller than the pictures you see. Try looking for up to date reviews of the places. We went to Disneyland in October best time. We stayed at the park

Friday night waiting for my hubby to get home...He's gonna pick up a pizza and we are going to have a little wine and watch the NRF (National Rodeo Finals) going on in Las Vegas. It's the best of the best.

Will make up for the pizza tomorrow...we are expecting a ton of snow for the next 5 days so I will be adding to my routine by skiing...Yeah baby, I'm so excited!!!

Hope everyone has a great & active weekend!!!

Hope everyone has a good week! I am slammed with MicroBio studying- and prepping for Thanksgiving! EEK!

I know everyone has their worries and bad times but today has been especially hard for me...My Big Brother passed away from short battle with Leukemia I am so sad and despondit with such a hurt heart that I have held inside for so long...My eyes cannot stop crying as I write...For you see once you have lost almost all of your family life seems so sad and a bit depressing. Also tomorrow I will be attending the funeral of a great family friend who lost his life to brain cancer last week...I don't mean to vent on you all so much but I don't have nobody else as most of m ylove ones are gone...Thank you for putting up with me you have know idea how I hurt so much inside!!!
This Honeyline site has been the best thing to keep me in tact & going!!!

Day #6
Wow I am pooped...It's getting late and I am getting ready to hit the sack...Had a nice kick back day with my Hubby.
We took the dog for a walk this morning and just kinda kicked back a bit...rode and trained with some of our younger horses, watched a little football, ate dinner,etc. Kinda nice since we have been working late the past 2 weeks and got to enjoy each others company a bit.
Hope everyone else had a nice Sunday!

Day # 3
Hi All...Can't post to much we lost a good family friend due to brain cancer today...Am cooking so I can take some pre made meals to the family...Though things are hectic I'm working out, no sugar, and no nuke-in...Doing everything by natural old fashion cookin!