OMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

DEEP BREATHS AND A QUIET MIND.

YEA RIGHT I TRY BUT SO FAR NO SUCH LUCK!!!!!!!

MAYBE ONE DAY.

THE UNIVERSE AND GOD WILLING.

WELL I KNOW THEY ARE BUT I`M TOO MUCH OF A CONTROL FREAK TO LISTEN SOMETIMES.

LONG WEEK.

AM UPSTAIRS WITH MY FURRY KIDS BECAUSE MY DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBORS ARE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER.

I HOPE THEY DON`T FIGHT ALL WEEKEND,UGH!!!!!!!!!

ALSO I THINK MOSQUITOS THINK I AM THEIR PERSONAL BUFFET!!!!!!!

HAVE WELTS THE SIZE OF TEXAS!!!!!!!!!

OK PITY PARTY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To say that I've had a hellish summer (July) would be an understatement! When it rains it pours. it started on a Tuesday when my daughters thought it would be cool to beat each other with Keyboards and smash Iphones (geez - hormones) then Saturday - Toilet tank breaks on second floor and flooded kitchen & dinning room, Monday - flooded basement, Wednesday - Chinchilla dies, Friday - dishwasher dies, Saturday - wall oven bites it, Sunday - Hot water tap at office won't turn off & I burn myself attempting to fix / plus my phone's battery overheats and basically cooks itself and then there was my Uncle passing away. I'd go on but I think you get the point!

Add Renovations to the mix and you get Stressed Out! Hoping August is a quieter month so I can get back to my routine and start my regular excersie program.

BEEN A LONG AND STRESSFULL WEEK SO FAR.BUT AM SURVIVING NON THE LESS.
HOPE EVERYONE IS GOOD.LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Literally woke up to billowing smoke last night at 12:30. I am thanking god I woke up or I wouldn't be hear. I left some sippy cups on the stove last night and rather than watch tv while they came to a low boil and were sanitized I decided to go to bed because I was so exhausted. I completely forgot about them and locked up the house and headed up to my husband who is nursing a hurt back and sleeping daughter. I have been a little more than normal busy and take on too much for one person. This really came apparent last night when I was talking to the police. I still get tears thinking about it and can still smell the stinch. So today I am trying to relax, appreciate my husband and daughter more than usual and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air around me. It's summer they say I think I'd better notice it before it passes. Why do i put everyone else before me? It's a problem I know and last night could have been well it just was bad. So if this helps anyone slow down and be aware at all times then that will help me feel a little better about this.

OK so it's my birthday week, and on Friday I get to enter 49 on the "enter age" screen on cardio machines at the gym. Not so freaked out by 49 but I know that I want to be in totally different place a year from now when I turn 50.

I am so looking forward to this weekend. I went to a lake last friday and actually relaxed and had fun. It made me realize how much I work and stress about pretty much everything. My husband, daughter and I drove up north 4 hours to meet up with friends. It was the best thing for our relationship. I get into a pattern of work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep. I know it's not healthy so this weekend I am focusing on relaxing and fun again. Two more work days and it's on!

TRYING NOT TO THROW SOMETHING AT MY HUSBANDS HEAD!!!!!!!
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!
OK MAYBE NOT BUT I AM RESTRAINING MYSELF!!!!!!!!
DON`T I GET KARMA POINTS FOR THAT?;-*

THERE IS A SONG BY DUNCAN SHIEK CALLED HALF-LIFE.

I HAVE FELT LIKE I HAVE BEEN LIVING A HALF -LIFE,SINCE I WAS ABOUT SIX .

MOST OF THE TIME LIFE IS GOOD DON`T GET ME WRONG BUT SOMETHING IN THE VERY CORE OF MY SOUL STILL NAGS AT ME.

I JUST DON`T KNOW HOW TO GET OVER MY CHILDHOOD.

I WALK AND TALK LIKE AN ADULT BUT SOMEHOW THERE IS STILL THAT WOUNDED LITTLE GIRL.

DO WE EVER GET OVER PAST HURTS?

WHEN DO YOU MOVE ON?

IF EVER OR DO YOU JUST LEARN TO DEAL?

NO PHYSICAL DAMAGE BUT THE EMOTIONAL SOMETIMES IS STILL THERE.

HOW IS IT THAT WHEN I GET GIFT CARDS ,

THAT I STILL END UP SPENDING MY OWN MONEY?

I HAD $75.00 TO SPEND ON AMAZON AND STILL SPENT $50.00 OF MY OWN MONEY.

EYIIIIIII OH BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

;-$

ANYBODY ELSE DO THAT?

I felt like this week I had a couple ground hog days. I am not filling my days with any excitement so I feel like I am just doing the staples and waking up and doing them all over again. I need to add some excitement into my life!!!!!

So lately I've been thinking how to manage my stress better. I am always so busy but am getting sick and tired of feeling like I am overwhelmed. I sat myself down and wrote down ways to make my life more manageable, more productive, more fun! I feel like my old self is long gone. The one who used to go to the beach, the gym, long lunches, naps :( It's sad to think that will never be the same but the reason is because I have an awesome husband, beautiful happy daughter, and a great job. I just have to figure out how to spend quality time with all three. Days seem to take forever when I was younger now they are going way to fast. I think if I manage my time better they may slow down so I can actually be aware of moments instead of going through them thinking about the next. I hope I can stay in this frame of mind and not go back to the craziness.

WORK BEING A PAIN.DRAINING MY PATIENCE AND MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!
;-o

Why is it that good habits are so easy to give up and bad ones are so difficult?? I was doing pretty well walking almost every day and for a while I was even eating a good breakfast .... a smoothie or sometimes some steel cut oats with agave. But...let a few little changes come around and all of that goes out the window...just like that. POOF!


I need to get back to my walking. I miss it and I am starting to feel my body not be quite as "good" as it was before. And I'm not talking about weight.. although that has been affected. I'm just talking about how I feel getting up to face the day.


Its odd how its so very easy to quit exercising and eating properly. But yet, it is so very difficult to quit the bad stuff. Even for a little while. Take the No Flour challenge. Its only for a week, and I've already decided there's no way in hell I'll ever be able to do it. Not good.


So, what am I gonna do?? I'm getting my stuff on and heading to the lake for my walk. Will I eat better? Don't know. I hope so. But at least I'm up and moving again.

WENT OUT FOR A BITE TO EAT WITH A FREIND AFTER WORK.

1) WHEN A GUY AND A GIRL GO OUT TO EAT WHY DO PEOPLE ASSUME THEY ARE A COUPLE?

(PEOPLE CAN`T BE FREINDS?)

AND 2) WE WERE OF 2 DIFFERENT RACES YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOKS AND HEARD SOME OF THE COMMENTS FROM ALL RACES.

WHAT CENTURY ARE WE LIVING IN?

SORRY IF I OFFEND BUT IT REALLY PISSED ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE FREINDS OF ALL GENDERS,RACES, TRANSGENDERS.

BASICALLY I`M LIKE THE U.N.

IF YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON I DON`T DISCRIMINATE.

IF YOU ARE A JERK WELL THAT`S ANOTHER STORY.

WHEN IT`S AFTER 9:00PM.AT NIGHT SHOULD YOUR NIEGHBORS BE FIXING THINGS AGAINST YOUR WALL?
I LIVE IN AN APARTMENT.
IT`S THE BUILDING NEXT DOOR.
WHEN DO PEOPLE HAVE RESPECT FOR THEIR NIEGHBORS OR DID THAT GO OUT THE WINDOW A LONG TIME AGO?
JUST VENTING.

Since I'm going snowboarding for a 3-day weekend I decided to double up on my workouts as there's no way I'll be doing them when I'm away. Oh man...I did Tuesday's workout since I missed it and next Monday's. This is my way of being proactive instead of beating myself up over not working out. It's a change from my usual way of thinking and I'm hoping that it'll help with being more positive about my fitness goals.

Some of you may be thinking that I'll be working out enough during the weekend with snowboarding but I'm sure the weekend will include many brown sodas (and nachos!) in the sunshine as the conditions are very Springy.

Oh and thanks kdencinitas for the mini Easter Egg tip. I'll be counting on you for an intervention soon! deeeeeelicious and so small

I have to admit that I ate a Cadbury's Easter Cream Egg and half a bagel with Nutella for breakfast today. I worked out after though! and I"m going ice skating tonight. So that does mean I can eat the other half of bagel?